life

You Never Knew Me

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Maybe its the way I walk

Or the way I sound.

It makes me, well me.

I thought you understood me

my other half (more…)

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2017 In Review

img_1789Hey again. It’s been awhile.

I don’t know why but I just was feeling so drained and uninspired. I had so many incredible posts planned and fully finished, but it didn’t feel quite right to hit PUBLISH.

Maybe it was because I didn’t want to start the new year off with anything that didn’t feel genuine to who I am.

The past year was one of the most amazing years of my life. I went on so many incredible adventures.

Get ready for a super quick 1 min rundown of 365 day. Lets do it!

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Honest Tea Talks: Why Can’t I Smile?

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This is just a quick little tea talk on a question literally everyone has commented on this week – why aren’t you smiling?

I am the kind of person who smiles because it is what I know everyone else likes to see. Every smile I force is not a physical outburst of happiness. In fact most times I am actually quite under the weather.

Everyone sees me as this super girly, sunshine bubble of positivity. These people aren’t wrong, they just only see the surface of who I am.

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I am human.

I have feelings. I cry. Alot. I get stressed. Frazzled. And am a natural bred overthinker. As I said in my last feelings post I am very sensitive.

Sometimes the notion of smiling just adds the weight of putting up a facade that really consumes too much of my already drained energy.

I get so much pressure like, “oh no she isn’t smiling, this test is going to be hard”, “oh no she isn’t smiling, the world is going to end”. People put so much pressure on me without even realizing. And I recognize that it is not their fault. But please. I am not a pretty doll to sit properly on your shelf smiling from ear to ear every single moment of my life.

I will smile when I am happy, cry when I am sad, and just let my emotions be.

And yes, this has been one of those crying ones. But not in ways you would expect. It’s not a breakup (lol you wish), or even a bad grade. It’s just one of those anxiety moments. Maybe a post for another time.

Thanks for listening to my pitiful crying. And for being a virtual shoulder to cry on.

keep being your amazing selves guys,

xoxo, Jen

 

Nervous Over-thinker.

Hey everyone.

A life update. Life has actually been getting tougher lately. I know that I am blessed to live in a beautiful country, have a loving family and have all my wants and needs met. I know all this. But small things seem to trigger even bigger things.

Last week someone whispered about their thighs were too close together. I immediately noticed that she was wayyyy skinnier than I was. And my body just automatically became all too conscious that really I should be the one who was concerned about my thighs.

That really bothered me.

I go around telling everyone I know that they are beautiful just the way they are and yet I can’t even seem to convince myself. I felt so much like a failure.

This was only the first thing that lead to a whole bunch of other OVERTHINKING.

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See that small brain up there? That’s me. Inside that egg shaped head is a whole lot of insecurities and crazy nonsensical thoughts.

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Photo Diary: Mothers Day

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Here are some photo memories of my mothers day just last week. Just a quick filler post since I have a ton of school work and exams…(wish me luck!). My sister and I surprise my mom and grandma (and dad!) with morning breakfast of fruit tart, cream cheese sandwiches and scrambled eggs. Then we went to church in our Sunday best and had loads of mothers day celebrations there. For the cherry on top of this day we went out and had a lovely lunch with a huge matcha French toast ice cream explosion.

I couldn’t catch up on blog stuff last week but I really had some great DIY’s to share. My DIYS included: printable Pinterest prints (check out my Pinterest for them HERE), DIY small gift boxes and table set-up décor. Maybe next year? This is just a photo diary so I will stop rambling now. Hope you guys all had a lovely day! {READ MORE} (more…)